Elevators

November 21 06 Dave Braud 5 comments

The new liberti office location (20th floor of 1818 Market St.) necessitates riding on the elevator every day. Elevatoring with God is fine. Being w/ my buddies from liberti is fine. Being packed liked sardines is even fine. But, riding the elevator w/ one or two strangers is a different story.

Should I say “good morning?” upon entering the stainless steel box?

Should I tell people to have a good day when they exit? Of course I should and so should you. So why is it so difficult for me/us? Some days I say something… especially if the person looks friendly, but sometimes I just endure the awkward silence. Does it feel awkward to them too? Probably. Isn’t that why most folks stare at the little buttons numbered B through 22 or watch the large red ascending numbers centered over the doors… so exciting. Maybe watching the numbers will get us there faster… or maybe we’re just avoiding eye contact – human interaction in elevators is scary.

I consider myself socially awkward — not as awkward as some of you — but awkward nonetheless.

I’m horrible at small talk. I’m scared of you. I want you to like me and when I can’t think of stuff to say to you I keep quiet. I want to be able to ask the “right” questions and give the “right” answers. Not sure what those are. I want to come across as authentic… not sure what that means either. Hence the CLOSE DOOR* button. “Please God… don’t let anyone else get on.”

It seems as though it’s good to talk to people… and for adult people, even strangers. There are lots of mental hurdles to get over. If the elevator-stranger looks like a vampire I will quietly watch the red numbers and think of blood. If the stranger is a middle-aged man with a starched white shirt and a navy blue suit and reminds me of my childhood Dad I’ll usually say “Good morning.” If the stranger is a bike messenger, I will keep quiet and hope that I look cool too. If the stranger is an attractive young woman I will avoid any visual or verbal contact as to keep the person from thinking that I’m a flirt, scum-bag or pervert. I could keep the scenarios going, but you get the idea.

When we look at people do we see someone who has intrinsic value?

Do we see someone who has been created by God and is a reflection of who God is? Do we see someone who has needs just like us. The stranger on the elevator may look mean, arrogant, cynical or even bubbling over with syrupy happiness, but every person that I elevator with is broken, needy and made for more than this world can offer. Lot’s of times I see strangers as simply animals who wear clothes. What’s wrong with me?

I am a follower of Jesus, but I usually follow from really far away.

I’m also spiritually deaf most of the time (makes it tough to hear what the Spirit of God is saying). I know that most of you reading this are a lot like me.

  1. We are afraid of people.
  2. We don’t care about people.
  3. We are inundated with our own problems and concerns.
  4. We forget what people are and what people are for.

God forgive us and make us those who would heed your words and follow your example. God give us faith to reach out to the people around us – to be your smile, your handshake, your “good morning” to those who need to hear a friendly word.

This is pretty simple stuff.

Nothing all that profound. It’s about being a friendly person – something that Mr. Rogers made look easy, but in reality is pretty tough. You don’t have to be on the elevator to try this out. It also works on the subway, bus and train. It’s also works in other public and private spaces (home, office, cafe, church, bar or walking down the sidewalk), both contained and non-contained areas, and works with strangers and non-strangers alike (even your spouse, roommate or “special” friend).

The welcoming heart of God bids us come and give ourselves to God and others. The comfort of the gospel is knowing that we are loved beyond anything we can imagine – the smile and song of God are over us. The call of the gospel is, in part, to be an expression of this welcoming heart of God towards those we encounter each day.

November 22 06 Richard B wrote:

Uncle Gene will be here today... Finding the right words for somebody dying of cancer is different than talking to a stranger in an elevator, but I will use your encouragement and God’s help to extend God’s love to him through me. nice job! thanks….

November 22 06 papa joe wrote:

Good java,
I like the “follower of Jesus but follower from far away..." keep following….

November 24 06 Susan Bertolino wrote:

Now that I’ve read it twice, and thought about it, I will give you my poor imput.

1. Elevators are a great metaphor for the alienation of urban life. We work or live in these huge towers and then go to our individual cubicle—be it apartment of desk and do our thing until it is time to leave. I don’t know how anyone avoids that one in Philly, New York, Chicago or smaller cities like Charlotte or Cleveland. I am strange because I like talking to people on elevators, even though I am not outgoing by any means—people who think I am just see a carefully crafted persona designed for survival. I too, fear people, but oddly enough, not on elevators. Something about the whole process seems so ridiculous that I find myself speaking out loud about anything, even if it comes off misontrophic—I guess I’m an anti-elevator kind of girl.
2. I see this alienation more prevelantly in public transportation and even driving. People will not make eye contact on the subway or bus. If someone greets the people, the first thought is that this individual is a nut. There is so much human misery on public transportation—I even have a friend who blogs on it daily—it fascinates him, and he gives each person a character name, whether they interact or not. In his own way, he is rebelling against the isolation he feels on the bus and you note on the elevator.
3. Cars are the worst and that is where I really remember my Bible. When I read The Sermon on the Mount recently, I was taken with how Jesus defined murder. That is one of those crimes we most likely feel we will never commit. Yet we do it every day behind the wheel—okay, I do and so does my husband. In the car, I am queen and I pronounce idiocy, subhuman intelligence and unpleasing behavior on any interferer. After reading that Jesus said that if you say “Thou fool”, you are in danger of hell fire, I said to my husband: Do you know how many people we murder per day?” I don’t know how to get past that one other than to acknowledge it at this point.
4. Everything you say is true, Dave. The question is how. You cannot be what you are not, nor can you be who you are not intended to be. If we greet people mechanically, are we not falling under the law and not the Spirit? I guess my ultimate point is this: Create in me a clean heart so that I can do these Christlike things as though I too own them. This is my constant prayer.

Thanks for this.

November 27 06 Jen D wrote:

From one artist to another:
Artists are feelers. This can be good and hard. We take life in so deeply. We take awhile to assess situations and circumstances and surroundings. When we walk into an elevator or a room, we’re REALLY busy processing everything & engaging (on the inside) immediately, before we engage outwardly. It’s just how we roll. : ) This can be awkward, or just unique. Depends how we see ourselves and the way God wired us. It can make our responses that more meaningful. Also- there are times that I may not “reach out” on the outside, but am reaching out on the inside… praying for people, thinking deeply about them, forgiveness, thankfulness, respect, planning, working,... and the outward expression of that is hopefully natural, loving and timely.

sidenote: I really think that nobody feels comfortable with strangers in an elevator, and even sometimes with the people they know. we’re all insecure. but God is bigger than that.

December 05 06 carissa wrote:

dave, i really like what you say. not only am i also someone who often struggles to make conversation with anybody, let alone strangers, i also spend 4 hours a day on public transportation! i might feel annoyed, intimidated, or even affectionate toward the people i see day after day, but i definitely don’t reach out to them…i too follow Jesus from really far away. but i join your prayer for forgiveness and change.

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